Madison Kimrey: I Got Your “Fingertip” Rule Right Here
Yesterday, I read about a 17 year old girl named Clare, who went to prom and was asked to leave because she looked so fierce, she was causing men to have impure thoughts. Actually, that’s not the reason. The reason is because patriarchy and the war on sex. But Clare’s dress did not break the preset dress code which stated the length of the dress must be long enough to extend beyond her fingertips when she had her arms by her side. Despite the fact Clare conformed to the nonsensical standards imposed on her, she was still singled out and shamed simply for being an attractive young woman.
The fingertip rule is perhaps the most irrational dress code standard young women face. I mean, do they think that short skirts and short shorts are going to cause the female genital organs to escape and randomly make their way into guys’ pants? There is also the rule against spaghetti straps, because I guess showing one’s shoulders is a surefire way to ensure you’ll spend the majority of your day swatting away a swarm of penises. We won’t even get into halter tops because stomachs are apparently a gateway drug that lead straight to stripper poles. It’s a wonder how any young woman survives a day at the beach without getting raped.
I don’t own a single summer outfit I could wear if I had to live under these ridiculous rules. And while I do own a few outfits that make other people’s parents say, “I would never let MY daughter wear THAT,” (some of which my dad has bought for me BTW) most of my clothes are just regular clothes. I have a lot of guy friends, some of whom aren’t gay, and I have never once caught them looking at my body parts during a conversation nor have any of them tried to touch me inappropriately. Even if I’m going out on the weekend and decide to wear something completely baddastical, my friends are the ones who will put the smackdown on anyone who tries to act on any “impure thoughts” they might have.
I owe this to the fact that my bullshit tolerance is below the 3% threshold and I refuse to hang out with idiots. The men in my life all have mothers and sisters and girlfriends. The women in their lives have had open conversations with them about how to treat and support women, and they are genuinely interested in doing just that. Sure, the ones who like women sometimes have the pure and honorable thought that a woman they see is attractive and sometimes they even fantasize, but they know how to act appropriately toward those women and respect their boundaries.
I also have girlfriends who don’t feel comfortable wearing short shorts or showing their stomachs. They don’t deserve to have a message sent to them by society that they are anything but on equal footing with Beyonce. It’s up to each individual woman to decide what she wears based on nothing other than what she’s comfortable and confident in wearing. In the end, women and the men who actually matter fully understand where our true beauty lies.
You show me a fingertip rule and I’ll show you my middle finger. Not only are such rules completely illogical, they contribute to the continuation of a patriarchal society. They place boundaries on women based on a stereotypical idea of manhood. They send the message to men who don’t have mothers and sisters and girlfriends they care about and converse with that short shorts and spaghetti straps are a signal a woman wants sex. My mother’s mother had to protest at her high school in order to be able to wear pants to school. We women have come a long way since then, but we still have a long way to go.
We haven’t come this far by sitting at home and waiting for our legislators to call. Women and the men who support them have gotten out there and worked for the rights women have now. And it’s imperative that young women and the men who support them exercise the influence we have over our lawmakers, stand up to our authority figures, and use our voices to continue to erode both the patriarchy and the war on sexuality.
To Clare, let’s change this world together, sister. Keep speaking out. This one’s for you:
Republished from Madison’s blog, Functional Human Being.
You can follow her on Twitter HERE.
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